Why I Trashed My Office on Purpose (and What It Taught Us About ADHD and Impulse Control)

This week in one of my sessions… we trashed my office. Intentionally.
I promise there’s a point to this.

One of the biggest themes I notice when working with kids who have ADHD is impulse control and time management. I often hear parents say things like, “When I ask them to clean their room, they just say they’ll do it later,” or the ever-popular, “No!”

A few weeks ago, I was sitting with one of my clients who shared how hard it was for her to clean her entire room. She explained that it felt overwhelming and unfair to miss out on tablet time just to do a “non-preferred” task. Valid.

I told her, “Yeah, that is a lot. Looking at a big mess and not knowing where to start can feel stressful.”
And then I said something unexpected:
“Let’s trash this place.”

She looked at me like I had completely lost it, which to be fair, I might have in that moment. But we did it. We tossed books around, scattered things across the floor, and intentionally created chaos. She asked, “Why are we doing this?”

I pointed at the mess and asked, “Now that this is all over the place, how overwhelming does this feel? Where would you even start?”

She nodded. “Yeah… I don’t know.”

I told her to grab a timer. “Time how long it takes me to clean this up,” I said.
She looked skeptical but curious.
I got to work. A little over six minutes later, the room was back to normal.

Why so fast? I told her: “I’ve had a lot of practice organizing.”

Then I tossed just one book on the floor.
“Your turn. Time how long it takes to pick this up and put it back where it belongs.”
She completed the task in 26 seconds.

We repeated the challenge several times. Each time, we talked about how she was practicing impulse control, stopping to think before grabbing something new, and putting one thing away before taking another out. We talked about how these tiny moments build up and make cleaning more manageable in the long run.

Then we reflected.
Yes, cleaning and organizing is annoying sometimes. But when you stay on top of it, you don’t end up in a situation where your parents take away screen time or you have to miss out. In fact, staying organized means you often get to enjoy more of your favorite things because you’re not wasting time cleaning up a big mess later.

💡 Want to Try It at Home?

Now, I’m not suggesting you trash your house (though as an adult, I’ll admit, it’s kind of fun to throw things around). But if you want a fun, engaging way to practice impulse control with your child, I’ve got you.

After we cleaned, we played a classic: Red Light, Green Light.
She went first. I had to stop when she said “red light” and go when she said “green.”
Then we switched.

This time, I “accidentally” ran when she said red light. Over and over. I kept getting sent back to the start.

She laughed, and also got the point:
When we don’t stop and think, it takes way longer to get where we want to go.

🧠 What This Teaches

Helping kids understand why tasks like cleaning or organizing matter is so much more effective than just demanding they “do it now.” When we can show them the impact of their choices and practice skills in playful, hands-on ways, they feel more capable and more in control.

So next time your child resists cleaning, take a step back and ask:

• Are they overwhelmed?

• Do they know where to start?

• Can you make it a game, not a battle?

And if you’re feeling brave… maybe let them trash a room, just once.